Segar

*gambar Pegasus sekadar hiasan

Permulaan sememangnya satu perkara yang menyegarkan.

Agak malang jika difikirkan, berapa ramai di kalangan kita yang takut untuk bermula semula dari kosong? Aku tidaklah terlalu berani, tetapi aku sentiasa jadi ghairah bila aku mulakan sesuatu hal, terutamanya bila bermula dari kosong.

Bagai menjadi kanak-kanak semula. Semuanya jadi permainan tanpa peraturan, peraturan boleh digubah mengikut hati dan logika sendiri, paling tidak pada peringkat awal - sebelum realiti dan limitasi datang menggigit. Tidak selalu berjaya, lebih kerap tergolek dari maju ke depan, tapi itulah kehidupan, ya?

Semakin lama aku perhatikan, rasanya seperti semakin jelas, peraturan nombor satu (order of the day) untuk zaman sekarang ini adalah untuk sentiasa jadi orang baru - sentiasa bermula. Tidak cukup  sekadar menjadi pakar cerita-cerita lama, tapi harus menguasai perkara-perkara baru dan segar.

Nanti kita sembang lagi.

Refractory

Hello there stranger!

I haven't been here in a long while & I have to admit that I feel a little embarrassed by some of the things I've written here - but such is life - it's like returning to your childhood home and find scribbles on the wall of your declaration of love for your crush that you've never really gathered enough courage to talk to.

Being away for a while has given me a somewhat more objective view of what this blog was and how it had affected me, and I would like to make a little note of that observation.

1) In a positive light, it had helped me make sense of my world and thoughts at the time. Friends and relatives may not always understand, and may only be willing to have a good time with you and would rather not deal with your pseudo complex half baked intellectual crises.
So pouring some of this out into the void of blogosfera certainly did help - I had the fortune of meeting a handful of like-minded souls, some of whom are still my friends today.


2) Also in a positive light, I now understand some of the struggles that the smart people within the creative world have to endure - to stay true to oneself.
Even though to you my dear stranger, this place may appear empty, dusty and lifeless, it was once a small ballroom where many balls and masquerade parties were held, and people did come, dance, conversed and drank beer together. (it's blogosfera Malaya, you have to mention beer or allude to your drinking to keep things edgy).

And as such, there was an audience, and with it a realization - am I doing a solo dance for myself or am I putting on a show for others? Am I doing things because I want to do them or am I doing it for the cheering crowd? What if they jeer instead of cheer? What if they go away?

I imagine this is a pretty common struggle that we've all had to deal with, and it's especially obvious within the creative industry.
Extra note:
Even if you're not an artist or a creative, you too have faced/are facing/will face these questions: but they will be bigger and more intimate in nature, so big and so intimate/close to your face that you might not even see them. Eg: Are you where you are today because you want to be there or because you're told to be there? Your personality, you behavior, are you really you or are you putting on an act to meet the expectations set upon you by your family/community? Are your dreams really yours?

Follow the white rabbit?


3) Now, in a negative light, this blog eventually became my place to rant. And let me say this, habit is a powerful thing - and this blog got me hooked on ranting. After some time spent here, I realized that I was becoming quite negative, which I certainly did not appreciate. It seemed to me that spending my time and thought processes on the blog has glued on a pair of negative goggles around my eyes - now (then) all I could look at was what's wrong with people or with my surrounding.
My mind was on a constant lookout for things to criticize or comment about, some of these things were valid, but quite many of them were trivial & being consumed by trivialities is never good my strange friend.


All in all, it has been a good learning process. I hope you benefit from my little note here, or at the very least be mildly entertained by it if that's even possible.
Have a good day & take care.

Earthquake Strips

Strip-strip komik ini adalah hasil karya Coco Wang, seorang komik artis dari China.
Kesemua cerita-ceritanya datang dari keratan akhbar berikutan gempa bumi yang melanda China pada 12 May 08, yang kemudiannya di olah kepada bentuk strip komik.

Aku memang tak sangka langsung beberapa kerat lukisan ringkas mampu meng-convey intipati kejadian sebenar disebaliknya dan seterusnya menyentuh hati aku.

Highly recommended, oh...dan sila sediakan tisu!



More here.

Elemen Dalam Blog

Apabila aku membaca isi kandungan blog-blog tempatan, aku dapati ada beberapa elemen yang pasti ada. Kalau tak selalu, kadang-kadang mesti nak ada juga.

Ya, elemen-elemen yang perlu ada ini aku rasa cuma ada dua.

1) Alkohol
2) Perempuan

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Kadang kadang elemen ini wujud secara bersendirian dalam satu 'post', contohnya:

"Semalaman, kepala aku dirundung kemurungan, pening! Namun pengubat hati aku ada di dalam peti sejuk, kebahagiaan dalam tin kata sesetengah orang. Setiap tegukan membawa keseronokan baru.."

Atau pun:

"Aku bangun pagi ini dengan kucupan lembut si Sherry. Sherry, gadis kurus berbuah dada besar yang memberi hidupku seribu makna..."

Kadang kadang elemen ini disatukan dalam satu 'post', contohnya:

"Pengubat hati aku ada di dalam peti sejuk, kebahagiaan dalam tin kata sesetengah orang. Setiap tegukan membawa keseronokan baru. Bila sudah habis dua tin, bila hati dan kepala sudah rasa seronok, aku baring di atas katil dalam dakapan dia. Sherry, gadis kurus berbuah dada besar yang memberi hidupku seribu makna..."

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Lucu juga apabila melihat komen yang ditinggalkan pembaca. Yang paling membuatkan aku ketawa kuat adalah bila ada yang melompat dan marah-marah. Agaknya kalau di letak keris dalam tangan, mau kena tikam tuan punya blog dengan geng marah ni.

"Engkau ini memalukan bangsa! manusia tak Hadhari!" etc (you get the idea)

Macam ini pun ada juga, dan 'by the way' komen jenis ini sudah klise. Jenis yang mukadimahnya macam mahu memuji atau berdebat secara intellektual, tapi sebenarnya nak mencarut (eee..takutnye).

"Engkau menulis ni bagus, ada idea-ideanya. Tapi aku pun tak boleh cakap banyak, aku nak kasi kau hadiah 2 perkataan sahaja.................Fuck You"

Ya, komen macam ini sudah klise. Kalau ada terasa mahu meninggalkan komen macam ini, baik tak payah tinggalkan komen.

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Lagi sekali ingin aku nyatakan yang aku bukan Mastika. Aku tidak 'judge' orang, sekadar memerhati. Tujuan utama 'post' ini pun bukan untuk mengkritik, tapi untuk menunjukkan yang aku tidak akan kalah.

Yaa, aku tidak akan sekali-kali kalah.

Jadi....

Semalam, bila sampai rumah, aku buka pintu peti ais dan tangan aku pantas mencapai sebotol Heineken. 'Tie' yang mengikat leher aku seharian terasa bagai cengkaman tali lembu masyarakat...panas, tak selesa. Terus aku tanggalkan dengan sebelah tangan dan buang ke lantai. Sebelah tangan lagi mengangkat botol ke mulut. Cecair sejuk menyegarkan membasahi tekak...


Beer sejuk sememangnya menyegarkan! Dengan tenaga yang dijana sebotol minuman tadi, aku melangkah laju ke bilik tidur. Dan seperti biasa, di bilik tidur aku, 'mereka' sedang menunggu..


Bagaimana? Menang tak aku?