Segar

*gambar Pegasus sekadar hiasan

Permulaan sememangnya satu perkara yang menyegarkan.

Agak malang jika difikirkan, berapa ramai di kalangan kita yang takut untuk bermula semula dari kosong? Aku tidaklah terlalu berani, tetapi aku sentiasa jadi ghairah bila aku mulakan sesuatu hal, terutamanya bila bermula dari kosong.

Bagai menjadi kanak-kanak semula. Semuanya jadi permainan tanpa peraturan, peraturan boleh digubah mengikut hati dan logika sendiri, paling tidak pada peringkat awal - sebelum realiti dan limitasi datang menggigit. Tidak selalu berjaya, lebih kerap tergolek dari maju ke depan, tapi itulah kehidupan, ya?

Semakin lama aku perhatikan, rasanya seperti semakin jelas, peraturan nombor satu (order of the day) untuk zaman sekarang ini adalah untuk sentiasa jadi orang baru - sentiasa bermula. Tidak cukup  sekadar menjadi pakar cerita-cerita lama, tapi harus menguasai perkara-perkara baru dan segar.

Nanti kita sembang lagi.

Refractory

Hello there stranger!

I haven't been here in a long while & I have to admit that I feel a little embarrassed by some of the things I've written here - but such is life - it's like returning to your childhood home and find scribbles on the wall of your declaration of love for your crush that you've never really gathered enough courage to talk to.

Being away for a while has given me a somewhat more objective view of what this blog was and how it had affected me, and I would like to make a little note of that observation.

1) In a positive light, it had helped me make sense of my world and thoughts at the time. Friends and relatives may not always understand, and may only be willing to have a good time with you and would rather not deal with your pseudo complex half baked intellectual crises.
So pouring some of this out into the void of blogosfera certainly did help - I had the fortune of meeting a handful of like-minded souls, some of whom are still my friends today.


2) Also in a positive light, I now understand some of the struggles that the smart people within the creative world have to endure - to stay true to oneself.
Even though to you my dear stranger, this place may appear empty, dusty and lifeless, it was once a small ballroom where many balls and masquerade parties were held, and people did come, dance, conversed and drank beer together. (it's blogosfera Malaya, you have to mention beer or allude to your drinking to keep things edgy).

And as such, there was an audience, and with it a realization - am I doing a solo dance for myself or am I putting on a show for others? Am I doing things because I want to do them or am I doing it for the cheering crowd? What if they jeer instead of cheer? What if they go away?

I imagine this is a pretty common struggle that we've all had to deal with, and it's especially obvious within the creative industry.
Extra note:
Even if you're not an artist or a creative, you too have faced/are facing/will face these questions: but they will be bigger and more intimate in nature, so big and so intimate/close to your face that you might not even see them. Eg: Are you where you are today because you want to be there or because you're told to be there? Your personality, you behavior, are you really you or are you putting on an act to meet the expectations set upon you by your family/community? Are your dreams really yours?

Follow the white rabbit?


3) Now, in a negative light, this blog eventually became my place to rant. And let me say this, habit is a powerful thing - and this blog got me hooked on ranting. After some time spent here, I realized that I was becoming quite negative, which I certainly did not appreciate. It seemed to me that spending my time and thought processes on the blog has glued on a pair of negative goggles around my eyes - now (then) all I could look at was what's wrong with people or with my surrounding.
My mind was on a constant lookout for things to criticize or comment about, some of these things were valid, but quite many of them were trivial & being consumed by trivialities is never good my strange friend.


All in all, it has been a good learning process. I hope you benefit from my little note here, or at the very least be mildly entertained by it if that's even possible.
Have a good day & take care.

Bahasa Sebagai Alat Komunikasi

Dalam kesibukan di mana aku sebenarnya tak sepatutnya menggunakan internet bagi hal-hal 'chatting' / 'update blog'/'plain surfing', aku gunakan juga internet bagi tujuan-tujuan sebegitu haha.

Aku telah ke -oranje grove- dan rupa rupanya blog merces letifer yang tak seberapa ini telah di-link-kan. Terima kasih aku ucapkan. Antara blog lain yang di-link-kan di situ adalah blog penyanyi Jason Mraz, yang meletup dengan lagu 'Remedy' dan 'You and I Both' tidak lama dulu (sebenarnya dah lama jugak...haih cepat betul rasanya masa berlalu).

Jadi di blog Jason Mraz, aku terjumpa petikan ini:
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" Did you know the Greeks have 4 different words for Love? That’s not fair! I
think I deserve to have a way to say I really love ice cream and I really
love my Nanny (grandma) without bringing my Nanny into a world of lactose
intolerance and a madman’s craving for chocolatey deliciousness.

Eros is the passionate love, with sensual desire and longing; where erotic
comes from.

Philia is friendship, a dispassionate virtuous love.

Storge is natural affection, like that felt by parents for children, or
little ones for Nanny.

Agape – THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE – is an all-inclusive unconditional love.
This is the one widely used in religious teachings. To have agape is to see
all people doing the best they can with the light they’ve got. Agape is not
spoken about. It’s a space you rest in, a state of being that is pure
uninhibited love. Someone in this state is not looking for a return on the
investment. In fact they don’t see it as an investment at all. This is
remarkable compassion "
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Menarik sungguh rasanya membaca petikan ini, memang bahasa-bahasa di muka bumi ini begitu, setiap satu ada 'advantage' dan 'disadvantage'-nya.

Di sini aku kongsikan bersama contoh dari hidup aku sendiri. Satu hari di atas sekeping kertas kerja aku tuliskan sesuatu hal yang perlu aku tulis dan aku menulisnya dalam bahasa Inggeris. Antara perkataan yang aku tulis adalah "discernment".

Tiba-tiba perkara yang aku tulis itu perlu di alih bahasa ke bahasa Melayu oleh salah seorang kenalanku. Jadi aku memantaulah proses alih bahasa itu sebab nak pastikan maksud sebenar apa yang aku tulis kekal.

Bila tiba di perkataan "discernment"....aku terpaksa berfikir seketika. Akhirnya ayat/perkataan yang aku cadangkan kepada si pengalih bahasa adalah ini:

"Kebolehan membezakan hal yang baik dan buruk"

Menarik betul bila difikirkan yang satu perkataan dalam bahasa Inggeris terpaksa dijelaskan dengan tujuh patah perkataan dalam bahasa Melayu.